my crazy granny
no, this isn't very nice. in fact, it's really awful. i had a grandmother who was so like this old lady it's positively freaky, and if i caught any of my cousins or siblings disrespecting and exploiting HER in such a manner, i'd probably take them off someplace and disembowel them with one of her tatting needles. but then again, this ISN'T MY nana...

p45.net
they tout themselves as the best way to waste time at work, and i'd agree with them completely if they actually had an internet-connected computer at my hellhole of a job. p45's got everything you could ask for as well as a lot you'd never even think to...online quizzes that are actually mildly amusing, decent jokes and parodies, an online confessional (YES, like the one i used to have back in ul...but this one WORKS), columns, message boards, reviews...and SNAKE! (you know that's really all it takes to hold my attention) it's also the parent site of all things ballyhoo.

who would you kill?
in the spirit of my tv-bashing bitchfest of last year comes THIS site...they call it a game, but i say it's waaaay better than that...that allows you to choose a character from just about ANY show on american tv (or mr bean) that you'd like to see smited, and...well...smite them yourself. write up the episode that says bye-bye to your least-favourite co-star, then see how others chose to off them. and the best part is, it doesn't even have to get past the censors!

the electronic tims
an online fanzine for celtic supporters that doesn't suck.

bonsai kittens
i, and people like me LOVE sick, twisted shit like this. if this site of mine amused you AT ALL, then you'll probably love these furry li'l buggers as much as i do. i'm not gonna spoil it by telling you much more, but what i WILL tell you is that the animal rights people were so offended by this site they had it INVESTIGATED and plastered all over the NEWS (which is where i first heard of it) and now are trying to get it taken off the internet. curious yet? i knew you would be...

newgrounds
you may've been here already if you were kind enough (or curious enough) to click the wee red box at the foot of the main page. if not, go back and click that box...as wonderful things await you if you do.

opie and anthony
there's a very narrow grey area, someplace between conventional talk radio and howard stern that comprises the category "stuff you can sctually listen to". that category is fairly monopolised by opie and anthony, who i can honestly say are the two most amusing men ever to spew their warped opinions onto the new york airwaves. they've been called a bad influence, politically incorrect, and totally amoral, among other things, and if THAT'S not enough reason to love them to pieces, there's actually now simultaneous campaigns running to get them off the radio altogether and to broadcast them nationwide.

beefnut
believe it or not, there really ARE other people in this world who are as miserable with life as i am. this site gives ALL of us a place to sound off...and possibly even sound off on each other's sound-offs. it's a message board, basiacally, part of the goats network, but it's UNMODERATED. this becomes a problem as sometimes primary-school eejits home sick with the chicken pox wander in and flood the boards with loads of meaningless drivel. posts aren't archived, so if you hit beefnut at the wrong time, there will be absolutely nothing of value to read. the good news is if you hit it at a GOOD time it reads like a good blog...a never-ending story of fairly humourous discontent written by upwards of 30 authors.

kerry gaa
THE web presence of kerry football. if you know me AT ALL, you knew this would be here. if you DON'T know me, and you don't even know what kerry is, let me give you a clue. kerry is the much-maligned (out of jealousy, of course ;) GREATEST COUNTY IN ALL OF IRELAND!...affectionately known as "the kingdom". i am a kerryman by birth and heritage, and maintain i'm still fiercely loyal to the green gold even IF i prevented them from making it to the all-ireland finals this year (still has yet to be proven, but there's rumours) needless to say this site's a must-see for all kerry people and football fiends, as well as anyone who wants to know who in sam hell sam maguire is or doesn't yet believe there's a sporting team in existence made up in more than 1/2 by (distant) relations of mine. (told ya i was a kerryman) right...and by football, i do mean SOCCER...the game played with a round ball, not one shaped like a human eye.

am i hot or not?
you know, it's fairly difficult to get an honest opinion on your appearance. your mam is always gonna think you're adorable, the girl next door's always gonna tell you you are in the hopes that in your gratitude you'll deflower her, and your mates, depending on the nature of your friendship, will either tell you you're freakshow material even if you're a veritable adonis or kiss your ass to avoid having you beat the tar outta them. so where oh where can you get a totally UNBIASED opinion 100% for FREE? that site up there, that's where. whether you're a dude or a dame, all you gotta do is submit your photo and people all over the globe who don't know you from adam will shallowly rate you from 1 to 10 on your looks. you can enter as many pics as you like, cos once you establish a username, you're a member forever and ever...and of course rate other people, some of whom are REAL specimens.

the virtual irish pub
"irish" chat that's actually about as irish as green beer and irish spring soap. as you might've caught me mentioning before, the few real irish who frequent this place have a particular gift for making us all look bad in the eyes of the american public...or they WOULD anyway, if the american regs were any brighter. instead, everybody gets pissed-off at each other and rows ensue. this is fun to watch when you're bored...participation's totally optional. of course, you might want to waltz in with a chip on your shoulder and start rows of your own...and of course duck out before things really start to get ugly and one of the resident computer geeks transmits a killer virus to your machine. used correctly, this site is an excellent tool to help wile away the bored hours at work or home...look it as the world's most dysfunctional reality t.v. show.

google
every list of links needs a search engine recommendation, so here it is...the only search engine EVER to win the cain seal of approval. unlike other searches, this one might actually help you FIND something.

am i THIS or not?
in case the name didn't give it away already, this site is an open-ended parody of "am i hot or not?" on which you can post you own (not necessarily respectful or nice) categories and candidates to vote for. i am an idiot and therefore find this really, really funny, even the part where someone (initials j.c.) posted my pic under a load of headings insinuating i'm self-centred, a bigot, and a pervert(which i of course am not)
while not moderated per se, your category WILL be cut if the title's too long, and your pics will be cut if they can't be remote-loaded. geocities and tripod both recently disallowed remote loading, so check your server before wasting your time here. otherwise, the sky's the limit. now, if i could only find a way to stop the circulating rumours i'm a child-molesting scumbag...

shrine of insanity
home of the devestatingly stupid interactive stories that started yet ANOTHER load of halfwitted in-jokes between my crowd of uncommonly easily-amused mates.

i may've coined the term (or not, whatever) but finally someone else has jumped on the anti-reverse-ageism bandwagon. of course, while all i do is bitch and complain about it, she's actually started a campaign...so go join. if not for you, then for the future of your country.

rip.com
this i came upon in a way that could be considered accidental...someone invited me to come attend my own funeral. yeah, that's right, someone reeeeeally didn't like me and so decided to do away with me the legal way...cremate me alive. (it didn't hurt a bit) anyway, once i was done saying my final farewells to (and later resurrecting) myself, i proceeded to kill about 50 people off the top of my head. trust me, this is one hell of a stress release, and there's even a message board and a chat where you can gloat about it afterwards.

the death clock
in the same vein, here's the death clock. it says i'm going to die wednesday, 27 april, 2033. what about you?

everything you ever wanted to know about zacherley but were afraid to ask
if you're like most people, you don't who the fuck zacherley is. if you're me, he's your idol. that's right, you may've heard rumours i idolise people like denis leary (well, yeah), tom jones (in theory) and pat kenny (whatdafeck?), but this is the man i've wanted to be since i was 6 years old. he's old as the hills, has a radio programme, and likes to dress up as a vampire. need i say more?

fixture at connollys pub in new york city and the greatest band on the face of the earth.

the garvaghy road coalition. i was looking to steer clear of political links, but this is one you should check out.