what do you want from me?


here's a subject worth spending some time on, a problem for the new millennium - STALKERS. once a plague of only the very rich and famous, now it seems almost everyone's got them. ESPECIALLY in new york. nowadays, you're simply NOBODY till you've got a restraining order against someone.

take me for example. i'm not exactly hideous to behold (i don't think so at least) but i'm not really mr super-hottie, either. i wouldn't scare you, but i'm hardly the type of guy every and any red-blooded human female would give up her soul to sleep with. you get my drift? well, again, at least I don't think so. but some people do. my growing legions of stalkers, to name a few. it's flattering, i guess, but i just can't even begin to get used to it. i have to admit, i was always a bit of a freak-magnet. even as a kid, as all my friends (who were and still are pretty freaky specimens themselves, let me tell you) entertained and teased their adorable little freckle-faced admirers, i spent MY time running in terror from #1 fans right off the pages of a stephen king novel. but lately, even those formerly lucky lads are finding themselves watching their backs and making lists of where they can and can't hang out based on how many scarey, bloodthirsty women frequent the places.

i don't like naming names, and since i would have to in order to fully elaborate here, i'll be cutting this now to a pretty general rant. just about everyone i know, good looking or not so good looking, male or female, married or single, gay or straight, old or young, has at least A stalker. these individuals range from email and phone-call pests to full-fledged follow-you-home-at-night-and-peek-in-your-windows-whilst-you-shower lunatics. children get stalked by other kids at school. it's like you just never know any more when some perfect stranger is going to step up and proclaim themselves your girlfriend, your best friend, or your worst enemy. but nuts or not, ya just gotta wonder what's going through these stalkers' heads when they pull stuff like this. i mean, i can only speak for myself, but if i get the feeling someone doesn't particularly like me, or they're private about certain things, i back off and allow them their space. going up their arse about it doesn't usually get them to come closer, it only chases them off completely. SO WHAT'S THE DEAL??? why can't the rest of these eejits see it this way??? so THIS person doesn't want to go out with you. SO WHAT? find someone ELSE! standing outside of her house 24/7 and taking snapshots of her as she sleeps isn't gonna make her heart grow fonder. in fact if you keep it up, you'll be facing 8-10. i've met a lot of people in my days, and while some play hard-to-get cos persistance turns them on, i've yet to meet anyone looking for a mate who's THAT persistant.

so....you think you got a problem? no matter where you go or what you do, whenever you turn around, your NEW BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD is standing there breathing down your neck. you don't think this could POSSIBLY get any worse? HEH! IT DOES! meet public enemy #1, or more specifically YOUR enemy #1, somebody that doesn't know jack about you, but hates you with a burning passion anyway. maybe they hate you cos they once dreamt (from afra...waaaay afar) of being your lover or your bestest friend in the whole wide world and you gave them the brush-off (or didn't realise they even existed, either or), or maybe they just can't stand your face. any way you look at it, you get one fo these, you are royally screwed. this is the stalker your mammy warned you about...the one that writes you tonnes of screwy letters constructed from new york times clippings, and sends you piles of abusive email, and rings you at 2am...and 3...and 4...and just sits there on the line, breathing obscenely into your ear....grrr.... these have to be the biggest wackos of all. there they are, wasting their every waking hour on someone they (supposedly) can't stand. what's the point??? damn, if the person is such a bloody waster, WHY oh WHY have you devoted your whole fucking life to them??? what's the POINT? how could they POSSIBLY be worth it? what is the logic behind spending $700 a month on a phone bill that consists solely of thousands of hang-up calls to this one TOSSER'S number??? last time i checked, we AVOID losers, not become attached to them at the hip.

damn. this is bloody aggravating. you can be sure i'll be getting back to this. but for now...