that, ladies and gentlemen, would be me. ain't i the lucky one? heh. not really. unless, that is, you would consider it LUCKY to be the only intelligent member of a community of over 500 living inside the head of what may be the most offensive slacker bastard on the face of the earth. i have been for years now a writer, a freelance creative consultant, and the only thing preventing a certain young man called ciarán from going postal and smiting a whole subway car full of people using nothing but the swizzle stick from his starbucks coffee.

now, despite what you may've been led to believe, there is really nothing else you NEED to know about me. i am not terribly interesting, and even if i WAS, you've lived this long without knowing the sordid details of my existence, so the knowledge is obviously not crucial to the sustinence of your life.

in other words, i want you to stop being so fuckin' nosey. okay? okay.

now be a good little minion and go back and read the essays. that IS after all what you came here for.