glory to the new-born king!

if i have a PET peeve, these people would have to be it. those that know me well, in fact, are probably sick and bloody tired of hearing me complain about them. those that DON'T know me or the blanket term my friend su made up to describe these malodorous cretins might require an explanation. that explanation will come, as usual, in the form of a rant...

versace. armani. prada. the labels are plastered on their bags, shoe soles, and arses like county shields on a contractor's van. at any given time they appear to be carrying their entire estates around in immense bergdorfs and tiffanys bags that block the entire street from traffic on either side of them. some even leave the tags stick out conspicuously from the necks of their jumpers and giggle nervously but NEVER FIX THE SITUATION when you point it out to them. they are obnoxious. they are pretentious. they are label whores.
you know who i mean. yeah, you do....cos as much as i'd like to say all of 'em are american women who live on fifth avenue and sutton place in new york city, i can't. as widespread as this problem is among rich yankesses, they don't even make up the majority. i could rant for another 3 hours about how the epidemic has hit dublin, but that would get really ugly so i'll spare you. what i WILL talk about, though, is chinatown.

it's no coincidence that it was an asian friend who coined the great term....cos if anyone knows what it means to be a slave to the label, it's them. i don't mean to generalise, but it's impossible not to notice that 86% of all the advert space top overpriced designers in new york city have is on the rear ends of young oriental chicks. i've actually considered on more than one occasion going to staples and having a silver stamper made up to say "POST NO BILLS" and just go around soho some day goosing teenage asian girls with it. (fear of being arrested and/or deported has thus far precluded my doing so)  anyways, back to my beef...here's a homework assignment for the next time you go to new york city. take the 6 train down to canal street in the heart of chinatown. see the little old immigrants working their tails off selling fish, jade jewellery, and silk goods. see their thugged-out label-whore grandchildren trouncing about in tommy jeans and nautica, all the while stinking to high heaven of ck1. americanisation at it's finest, perhaps, but i still say if they were MY grandkids, they'd be gutting fish.
maybe the oldsters think they're doing these kids a favour by handing over all their hard-earned cash so the brats can go hog wild in the manhattan mall, but  they ought to realise that if they keep this up the incomparable work ethic they're known for is gonna die out in a coupla years and chinatown is going to be overrun with YANKS. but...sad as it is, that's not my problem. it's theirs, so on to my next point...

label-whores of all colours, classes, and creeds have begun fostering a business that just baffles the livin' fuck outta me....BAG-selling. no..no...i ain't talking the (really good) kate spade and prada knock-off handbags they sell out of the back of vans in the aforementioned chinatown (i got one of THOSE for my mam's b-day :P) i MEAN shopping bags. PAPER shopping bags from STORES. yes, ladies and gents, if you have to limit your pretentions to a budget, go on and buy your jewellery from they 99-cent shop...and then stick it all into the bitchin' blue shopping bag you bought from tiffany & co for 5 bucks. okay. i don't know about you, but to ME the practise of making people pay money for paper bags is matched in obsccenity only by the practise of standing for 30 minutes behind 50 OTHER stinking tourist scumsuckers waiting to BUY a paper bag. WHY I ASK YOU!!!!!!!! WHY????????

ah crap....again, this is a rant that could easily go on forever. but it won't. i'll end it here before i give myself a heart attack....

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